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she was an odd one. quiet + withdrawn, at least on dates. I never saw her outside of that circumstance--I find it telling how someone interacts with others. a self-professed "country girl" from a place of 255 cities, towns, + gores. we were far from there. downtown berkeley to be specific, a few years ago--a place not immune to the kids with their car stereos that went booooooom-boooooom with bass-heavy tracks. this upset her. she professed a need for quiet in her world + said, in a pained manner of a confessional, that loud "urban" music made her think *very* bad thoughts. --cue sound effect of brakes squealing ending with a car crash-- huh? when I recently showed a class an episode clip of 30 Rock where jenna {jane krakowski} says {after finding out she was still mic_ed}, "did I say the 'N' word? not that I would," I thought of this incident. it bothers me to this day I didn't confront her on that one then + there. oh, it was clear what she meant, but how someone professing to be sooo open-minded + liberal can easily slip into the realm of generalizing epithets was troubling. no matter, things followed some kind of "borderline" personality trajectory of 180º "I love you-I hate you" and derailed shortly after this incident. she's a journalist + her stuff shows up on my radar every so often--with all of its blatant posturing, I know better.
"I was in the Virgin Islands once. I met a girl. We ate lobster and drank pina coladas. At sunset we made love like sea otters. *That* was a pretty good day. Why couldn't I get that day over and over and over... "
in that vein, every so often I think about my versions of pretty good dates. ::before that evening, we never met or even talked on the phone. sharing pixels + other bits of electronic ephemerata. how is molly the cat doing, anyway? I mentioned I was going to be in town + asked her if she was free on a particular evening. there was a band playing + as it turns out she went to grade school with one its charismatic members. I got tickets + was racing around town trying to get various things done. I left a few messages + was beginning to wonder if this was going to happen. she finally called my cell + we met up in a dive bar, me trying to rein in seemingly alcoholic tendencies. oh, how on great dates you lose track of time--of course we did + realized we better get to the concert venue. we had to wend our way across the city--me with a fuzzy sense of perceptions and she without her glasses, there was quite a bit of conversational meandering. when we finally got there, it was a wonderful space with perfect acoustics. I was mesmerized by the songs, sometimes raucous, oftentimes lilting. I was sort of curious to see her interact with her old friend who was in the band. it was quite a sight to see their faces light up, as they hadn't seen each other in a few years. she introduced me + I was walking on air, concealing in a veneer of coolness any sycophantic fanaticism. I bought her a CD that meant a great deal to me + gave it to her explaining how this music affected me. she was delighted and said it was as if I were a magician. of course, I was not--only perhaps in a john c. reilly sense in magnolia or akin to stephane's mother's boyfriend in la science des rêves, as I would have used some of said magic to prolong those few weeks of bliss. that evening ended with her inviting me to dinner with her sister + close friends. as I grow older + more deluded, I choose to just remember these magical montages, but long for even better dailies just around the corner.
alta california sur {los angeles}
in raw february
newtown creek
chilled lifeless
in still sunshine
under the bqe
but nasa tells another story
on google maps
she saw shooting stars
the bluegreen hues
one could imagine
tidelands near nauset
with reeds and grasses and delicate light
